The Ghost of Brooklyn Has Been Murdered

Bloody scene where The Ghost of Brooklyn was found dead

NEW YORK—American musician and songwriter The Ghost of Brooklyn, who recently rose from the dead and was making a name for himself in the Indie Folk scene, was murdered early Sunday morning on his way to perform a free concert at the chapel at Green-wood Cemetery, officials for the graveyard confirmed.

According to sources, he was strolling the cemetery grounds eating a corn muffin and exercising, and, The Ghost of Brooklyn, a very competent guitarist and singer, began singing and playing inside another residents mausoleum, and was attacked from behind by a zombie with a knife. He subsequently "died" from multiple stab wounds to the neck, chest and head. He was 134 years old.

"Though The Ghost of Brooklyn was playing a cover song by Bo Diddley—one of his favorite artists—he appeared to be playing exceptionally loud this morning and infuriated the other residents," Lisa Alpart Director of Graveyard Affairs for Green-wood said at a press conference outside the chapel. “He sang for about 4 1/2 minutes, bleed furiously, gasped for air, but never missed a note.”

"After nearly 10 minutes of intense bleeding he didn’t seemed to be in pain but rather enjoyed the dying process. His body then became limp,” Alpart added. “We would have stopped the bleeding, but he was having to much fun."

Graveyard witnesses reported that The Ghost of Brooklyn—author of over 300 songs and occupier of literally 1000s of bodies over the years—displayed all the classic signs of dying: pale-cold body, eyes open with death evident in the face, and a complete lack of movement.

"This is not the way I wanted The Ghost of Brooklyn to go out this time," longtime friend & cemetery resident Jean Michel told reporters. "Maybe after 300 years of intense touring and writing, he got complacent and allowed himself to get whacked. Shit happens. I’m sure he’ll be back soon with a new body, or a revamped old one.”